Finding Meaning

It has been a rough few days. I vacillate between anger and sadness. I understand the waves, I am just trying to go with it. It is beyond my comprehension why an individual would want to burn down a house that we were moving into. I don’t know the thought processes behind that kind of insanity.

I understand pain. I understand anger. I understand regret. I understand shame. I’ve been there through it all. 

The only thing that is in my heart is that nobody was injured, thank the gods. We shall lay a stake to our new home here in the country. Gardens and animals shall abound. 

There is a silver lining. There always was. Destiny is a tricky thing, as are illusions. 

The individual(s) responsible will be held accountable. There is no honor in what they did. 

The cold wind blows on a supposedly Spring day…



Baker Atlas conducted a Checkshot Survey and an Offset VSP Survey for Texas Brine Company Ltd. in the well Oxy Geismar 3, located in the Grand Bayou field, Assumption Parish, Louisiana. The objectives of the surveys were to:

Measure time-depth information

Image the salt flank

At the time of the survey, the well had been flushed to create a cavern below 3400ft. The surveys were performed in the borehole above this depth. A sketch of the well and possible salt location is shown as Figure 3. All measured depths are referenced to Ground Level. The well is considered vertical.

The survey began at 9:52 hrs on September 25, 2010 and was finished at 10:49 hrs on September 26th, 2010.

A vibrator source was used for the surveys. One vibrator was positioned 123 ft. from the wellhead at an azimuth of 77 degrees for the checkshot survey and then…

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Memo to the American *redacted*,

We have new security *redacted* protocols to adhere to. Understandably, *redacted* was very important to the *redacted*. President Obama has new ideas for the *redacted* and the *redacted*. While most individuals believe that they *redacted*, the simple truth involved *redacted*  and Hillary Clinton. The tomfoolery that is exhibited by *redacted* and *redacted* cannot be reproduced in a hostile environment.

*Paragraph redacted*

Concern about Constitutional matters in league with *redacted* is easily dismissed, as they do not have the *redacted* or the proper security clearance. If the domestic terrorist conspiracy theorists continue their *redacted*, something will have to be done, especially in areas of public safety drones and *redacted*. Congress is especially concerned about *redacted*. Sovereign citizens, so to speak, are at the forefront of our fight using *redacted*.

As soon as President Obama sees the memorandum about *redacted*, he will issue a new “executive order ™” concerning the *redacted*. We are also very concerned about Anonymous and his *redacted* tools and the very real possibility of harm against the American public using *redacted*. We need the American public to understand the threat of *redacted* and to report suspicious behaviors by the *redacted*. A new *redacted* list will be constructed to deal with domestic *redacted*. Social media is the best way to combat *redacted* and *redacted*.  Rahm Emanuel has very good ideas about *redacted*.

Thank you for your attention regarding the *redacted* issue.

*Redacted* bless America,



/end satire

Police State Has Arrived in Arkansas

There are so many things that are wrong here, I don’t know where to begin. Here is a link to the Leola checkpoint:

I had the unfortunate luck to have been harassed by this checkpoint. The officer involved demanded to see my identification; of course, I was a passenger in a vehicle. There is absolutely no law saying that I have to show them my ID, and I will take this philosophy to my grave. I WAS NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL. I have no warrants; I have no record. When I told the police officer that I refused to comply, he got frustrated. He seemed to be taken aback. He repeated my statement with a question: “You will not comply?” He seemed rather…incredulous. The driver of the vehicle had an expired license (oooh, glad you get these awful criminals off the streets). Expired license, detained (NOT arrested, not given rights), truck impounded, and blackmail money in the form of a two hundred dollar fine. Yup, Sheriff Vance and Officer Rosa…doing a great job for the populace of Grant County. Because of my supposed insolence for not showing my identification, I was left on the side of the road with no recourse (there was NO cell coverage in that area). The officer told me that I need to learn the law: “We don’t do things like they do up north. She needs to learn.” This was overheard. Never mind the fact that the 4th amendment was being violated by the checkpoint itself. Fast forward a bit to an exchange with the police via email. We were told that the law states you must show your identification. Via email, and even at the police department, they could not show the statute that says you MUST comply. What is even more hilarious is that we were shown a statute involving loitering, that had absolutely nothing to do with what we were requesting. 

Apparently, they can lie and degrade the Constitution as much as they see fit. 

That’s my story, but hell, it gets worse:

“Little Rock to add citywide surveillance cameras”

I won’t be doing any business or shopping in Little Rock.

There is also this in Paragould:

Police State Comes to Arkansas

I can’t even begin on the Paragould situation. 

Is the Constitution meaningless now? When exactly did this document die? Until I hear that the whole damn thing has been repealed, I will continue to live my life in accordance with the Constitution. 

It all adds up to tyranny. I will continue on, and I won’t comply. 

Should I Write Something?

I hesitate to write a blog entry; for all the usual reasons, I’m afraid. Nothing spectacular. I have a lack of subjects to discuss. I could go on and on about the apparent stupidity of the populace, the fact that politics and religion suck, and other assorted ramblings…

I have transcended that. At least I think I have. Politics are useless. There is no possible way to fix this broken system. It is simply a matter of time before it all comes to fruition. What could I mean by that? You might call it collapse, ineptitude, insanity, event horizon, whatever. Regardless, it is a loop. Time, that is. Space-time. History repeats? Why yes, it does. Everything that will happen has happened. In any case, Twitter and Facebook seem to be the areas where people get their messages across. Actually writing out a blog post? How blasé. If it can’t be done in 140 characters, it can’t be done.

I could discuss my life; somehow, that would make a more boring discussion. I have been accused of talking too much, or being egotistical. Finding the right balance is quite difficult for me. I mean well; I just don’t get along with other people too much. I have tried to do that; I have tried to be something I am not. I can’t do it. I’m not patient enough to endure small talk, or parties, or anything else of that ilk. I apologize, but it isn’t me, and my path right now is reclamation…becoming myself; becoming the person that so many people tried to change, or mold, or tried to rectify with my so-called “internet persona”. I’m not what you think.

I’m human, certainly not infallible, and I think this is where I have failed somewhere along the way, especially when it comes to men. I will not take the whole blame. There are certainly other factors in the matter.

When I’m around others, I often feel useless, or awkward. It is better to avoid such situations, so I do go on twitter or LOP to vent and talk.

This persona that you think I am, it isn’t me. I don’t know what you thought of me at one time or another, but it is time for me to reclaim myself. I fully admit I’m not popular or social; I can’t tolerate small talk or the mindless American left-right paradigm that everyone seems to be wrapped up in.

I tried to do politics. I worked for a campaign earlier this year. It was highly apparent to me in working on that campaign that there were, once again, forces on the inside that are hell bent on destruction.

It’s all a game, people. I cannot reiterate it enough. I can yell from the top of the Sears tower and people are not going to get it, so please, by all means, embrace your thinking. You should realize, however, that in the end it means nothing.

So that is where I am right now. Stuck between the meaning and the meaningless, in attempting to clarify certain aspects of myself.

I have a lot of pent-up rage over the person who was in my life previously..the person who thwarted my inner-growth, and did not allow me to be myself, who happens to be very emotional and fragile on occasion.

It’s a two-way street, though.

I haven’t the slightest what I am rambling about. Right now, it is probably ego-driven.

I don’t know what to talk about. I haven’t touched this blog in ages. I used to post news stories that I felt were relevant. I still read these stories, even post them on Twitter, but I don’t have the vigor for it anymore.

There are more important things to think about right now; I can’t change what those rats in DC do, so screw it, I control my own destiny.

I have found myself attempting to create more. Not build upon others, but to actually create. It straddles the world of material and immaterial. It is raw and real, but probably not for human consumption.

So I go on…albeit in a slightly different manner. My aim is true.

I enjoy music, so I do go to concerts whenever I can. I find my energy and thoughtfulness amongst the energies of the musicians and the crowds. Once again, though, my music is probably not for human consumption. Not many people like the metal sub-genres of doom, sludge, and stoner rock.

I’m okay…at least I can pretend to be.

May the gods and goddesses bless you.

This is pretty much summing it up right now: