I am in absolute hell…

It cannot be fixed. I cannot even sleep.

I hope this damn party ends soon, I am tired of it.

You know what I mean.

Good night.


7 thoughts on “I am in absolute hell…

  1. Go to the grocery store, pick up the best filet mignon you can afford (grass-fed beef is best), cook it medium-rare on the BBQ, and eat it with mashed potatoes drowned in cream and butter. I bet you’ll feel better.

    I’m not kidding. I honestly believe vegetarians are more suicide-prone than omnivores.

    • heidilore says:

      Nope. I am far more relaxed now. When I ate meat, I was severe. I have improved TEN FOLD from when I was a carnivore. I feel more enlightened and more open to things, previously I was suicidal and bitchy.

      Believe me, ask anyone that knows me…I am far better now.

      • I probably should’ve left this can of worms unopened. I’ve just known far too many people who started to look like something out of Night of the Living Dead within months or even weeks of going on a vegan diet. That didn’t stop them from telling everyone how wonderful they felt. Of course I realize that vegetarian isn’t necessarily the same as vegan.

        I guess everyone is different and there is no one-size-fits-all diet. My concern is that a lot of people go on vegan/vegetarian diets after seeing some PETA slaughterhouse puke video without understanding anything about nutrition. There was a vegan woman in New Zealand a few years back who killed her baby because she wasn’t supplying enough vitamin B12 through her breast milk; and a similar case in Florida, where a baby died and one of the surviving kids had developed rickets. The rickets could’ve been easily prevented by letting the kid drink some whole milk or eat cheese.

        I find it weird that so many vegetarians think they’re part of some persecuted minority or something, because everywhere I turn, there’s always some “expert” or health magazine extolling the benefits of plant foods and equating such foods as milk, butter, or red meat with poison. Even governments are now urging citizens to eat more vegetables and cut down on meats.

        Yeah, there’s problems with modern animal foods, such as growth hormones, pasteurization of dairy products, keeping animals in confinement, etc., but the solution IMO is to go back to traditional, more humane methods of farming, not to drop meat altogether and start drinking soy milk.

  2. View Voyer says:

    I am very sorry that this is happening to you Heidi.
    Try changing things you do.Listen to classical
    music,watch funny and/or romantic movies.
    Tune out of the dark realities of life and look at
    the bright side of things.

    Also remember that a lot of people care about you.

  3. eli says:

    Heidi…this WILL pass. The advice about doing small things is good in general – but consider doing a drastically positive act, like moving to a new place (city or even another country), just finding different people to hang out with or taking up a radically different lifestyle might also change things. I dont know your age, but many people fo through some terrifically difficult times when they are young – it can and does get better as you get older.

  4. view voyeur says:

    Heidi,some spirits may have attached themselves to you
    from your ghost hunting days.
    You may need a cleansing ceremony.

  5. roy albrecht says:

    How many people realize that eating insects is akin to eating meat?

    Do you think herbivores like cattle or deer don’t eat meat?

    Do they discerningly go through each blade of grass and carefully munch around every visible and Invisible (microscopic) insect/mouse nest they see?

    Or do they hungrily seek out those juicy little protein packed flavour morsels like a cat eating the wet food before the dry?

    It’s not the meat that kills or harms so much as the poison they pump into it. But that goes for all food not just the meat.

    Is it a “karmic crime” to eat road kill or meat that has lead a long and useful life then succumbed to old age?

    Although, when working/studying in India, I lived like vegan and it never occurred to me that something was wrong, the sun shone brightly and the temperature averaged in the low to mid 40’s. Being a vegan, staying skinny and cool and darkly tanned (no anemic look there folks) is next to natural.

    Shortly after enlightenment in the mountains of Columbia and returning to Canada, the first thing I did was have a fresh salad. This was after years of living vegan in a tropical climate where Monsanto chemical products are an oligarchs preserve and financially out of reach of the average road side peasant farmer’s food stand.

    That “Canadian” (Jew for Goi gruel) salad made me sick to my stomach. It was as if I swallowed a nausea cocktail.

    The average Westerner is too physiologically “dulled down” and fouled up to even notice the change in their system as a result of consuming the chemicals that are infused into their Jew produced Goi-gruel.

    To live a vegan lifestyle in Canada you need to be a combination nutritionist-philanthropist (the cost is exorbitant)-outdoor enthusiast (sun is a major component lacking in the diet of the average polar vegan).

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