Letter to my teenage self

*I got this book for my birthday, from JCB. It really is awesome, you write out your life story. Anyhow, one part is writing out a letter to your teenage self. So I did.*

Hi Heidi

You might think the world is terrible right now. I am not going to lie-it is. The world is a cruel place. There is one thing you need to know, though, no matter what. It will get better-you are never completely alone. It might feel like you are right now-but it isn’t all completely empty. You are going to meet a lot of souls, a lot of very interesting souls, and you are going to love them and touch each one individually. You are going to follow your dream to see all kinds of interesting places. You are going to touch life and embrace it, like you have wanted since childhood. You are going to make a mark, Heidi, despite the negativity. Learn to love and cherish every experience, taste it, share yourself. You are not as bad as you think, young lady. The world is yours.

HLL

Emotional pain and other useless information

I am not going to put this on Lunatic Outpost, because everything I do there is misconstrued as drama.

I don’t think I am going back there. I am tired of the pain, tired of the cruel, rude people and tired of the people who are nice to you and turn around and talk crap about you elsewhere. I think I am done with forums, period. I enjoy twitter and the blogging, and my photography.

I cannot watch as good friends and people I love are criticized, especially when very few of em actually know who I am. That is the funny thing about this…they don’t know me in the least. They think they know me because of some words on a screen, but they honestly do not. What they call drama is me actually showing my emotions. If showing my emotions means I am evil or hypocritical, then there is something truly wrong with this world and reality.

They are judging me based on various things that have happened. Forgiveness does not seem to exist…when I try to post things, or defend myself, I am viciously attacked. I am fully aware of the things I have done wrong in my life; I do not need a group of internet individuals to point out my foibles and shortcomings.

Of course, the inevitable “She can’t take the heat” will pop up…but if something is harming you emotionally, spiritually and intellectually it is best to step away.

God bless you. There are many people who are good at LOP, but those few that aren’t ruined the experience for me. Good luck, you can catch me here or twitter.